Liz

Haha!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 13:49:38 GMT

Well, I learned my lesson.

No more LiveJournal for me! Consider this my last entry.
I could say something snide, backhanded, cruel, and veiled in dark humor, but that would be too appropriate. And it wouldn't be me.

Toodles! *hugs*
*The Malkavian vanishes in a puff of Obfuscate*

God damnit...

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 14:11:29 GMT

Update: Edited ^_^ Sowwy Kitty!

OK, so last night I was totally overwhelmed with stupid shit. I was feeling really unproductive after spending a day of work surfing the web, so I decided I'd try to accomplish one of the hardest things in the dolling world.... the thing feared most by dollers everywhere... .. .. THE ACTION SCENE!!! OK, so it wasn't that cool. It was all chibi and tiny, so the actual editing wasn't that hard. The zombies were a huge pain in the ass. But yeah. It's a Ninja Pirate Inc. picture with Tony ninja flying-kicking three zombies, and Jake pirate sword stabbing and hook decapitating a couple. In true pixel doll fashion, I made the blood look sparkley ^_^ I've been doing a bunch of Ninja Pirate stuff lately. I think it's because I'm so bored. And maybe it's the alterior motive of coming to the same realization I came to junior year of high school. "Shit. All my friends are seniors. I better latch onto some people my own year or lower so that I'm not all alone next year." This year, it's not the same realization. It's more of a "Shit. James is a senior, and he's pretty much the center of my close social group." I've managed to go against my natural instincts and desires this year, and became a bit of a social butterfly rather than locking myself in my room with teh intarnet, but when I felt I'd done my job, I just kinda latched on to Mo, Josh, Cory, and James and stayed there complacently like I did with Pat and Kitty and Christine in high school. For the entire last semester, I spent almost more time in Dana than in Bullock. I mean, it's not that I like James more than the other members of the group. It's just that without him, it'd be just uber-couple MoJo, and me and my ex boyfriend. The only thing worse than being a third wheel is being the third wheel with... hmm... a flat tire? Is that an appropriate analogy? I mean it not as a strike to Cory's awesomeness but as more that it's a wheel that doesn't actually assist in propelling the car, but might decieve you in the way of, "It's a wheel, and I'm a wheel, and we need four wheels to make this car go, so..." Except for when it's Kitty/Frank and Pat. Because Pat doesn't even count as an ex-boyfriend anymore because he is teh awesome ^_^ And Kitty/Frank aren't coupley except in the fact that Frank says cutesey things occaisionally to which Kitty gets all embarassed and hits him. Wow.... If this journal entry were written in html tags so far, this is what it would look like (pretend wavy brackets are arrow thingys):

{storyofstupidshit} Blah blah blah
{dolling}Blah blah
{lackoffriendsangst}Blah Blah
{caranalogy}Blah blah{/caranalogy}
{KittyandFrank}Blah Blah{/KittyandFrank}

Now I just need to {/lackoffriendsangst}{/dolling}{/storyofstupidshit} ^_^
So yeah, I've been starting feeling lately that when James leaves next year, it will totally tear apart the social circle I've created, and I'll have to go back to just being SPOC. I mean, SPOC is awesome, and I'll stay active in SPOC until my last day on campus. I just don't want it to be like highschool again where most of my social interaction was entirely based in an organization of some sort. So then my brain is like, "Who is the coolest person in your year that you don't know well enough?" And it took my brain approximately three miliseconds to go, "TONY!" And what do I have the natural tendency to obsess over anyway? "Pirates, Ninjas, and projects that make me feel productive but aren't actually that important anyway!" So yeah. Tony, sorry for my leeching and my creepy NPInc obsessing behavior. {/lackoffriendsangst}.

So I was working on this pixel scene last night, when my usual roleplaying group showed up on IM.{/dolling}

My online roleplaying group. *winces* {roleplayingrant} Yeah, so while Josh has managed to find a nice group where you type giant pretty posts with lots of writing and shit, I went the other way and got Neopets. I think it's because I can't commit to anything. I hate character angst, so I can't be happy spending tons of time going back and forth, bringing out all the mopey little secrets in our characters' pasts. I like creating characters that work for their purpose. That push a board along with some interesting character quirk or way of relating to people. They're designed to engage people without being an "I'm random and I bounce around and I wear funny clothes!" cliche. They don't function well on that level. I don't like functioning on that level. So I go on Neopets where you can roleplay in one hour hunks, and then leave the board and never deal with it again. {/roleplayingrant}.

So I somehow managed to impress the hell out of this couple of people with a roleplaying character. I went against my usual behavior and made a bishounen-esque character. And I should have known that when you do that, people get hooked on them but won't admit it. So when Neopets threatened to ban one of the players for all her "Oh I cut myself" emo angst, she was all like "Oh we should take this to AIM to finish this." And I was stupid. Instead of saying, "Oh, I have to log off and eat dinner" or something like that, I said, "Eh... sure." And handed them my AIM screen name. One of them is pretty cool. She's 13. The other is 11. T_T So basically, roleplaying with her feels like babysitting. And after a session that ended in one character being confronted by his abusive father while the other tried to steal away the attention by running off into the woods and cutting herself and my character standing in the middle and going *turns on Pat voice* "... ... ... AAAAH!!!" they decided that they wanted to start over again from a different setting so they could change their characters and add more angst. Yay. So then we get lazy and start putting up photographs of people that look like our characters instead of wrestling with trying to write description in a friggin AIM chatroom. And Emo 11 year old sends me to her webpage to see the photos of her character, and I find the saddest thing in the world...

{emorant} My new haircut has become emo. OK, I generally don't care about this shit. I do what I do, I dress how I dress, I look how I look, and I don't care which social group people associate me with. But it seems I have found my lack-of-caring kryptonite. Emo is gross. The music is bad. Hearing it makes me want to hit things. Because it's like they're trying to be hardcore and gritty, but they sing about STUPID things with whiny voices. Goth music is angry and dark and whether or not you care about or even understand the lyrics, it sounds COOL. Punk music is angry and melodic and about something actually worthwhile. Things that matter like politics. And... well... politics. And the typical stereotype emo kids are worse than the typical stereotype goths because they don't mope. They whine. And they have nothing to be upset about. It's not really that upsetting that my new haircut is emo, because I'd never get nuts over a single occurance like that. I mean, it's not even bothering me that much. It's just fun to write about. But my LAST haircut was apparently emo too. Thankfully, I wore them both differently. I wore them the way I wanted to wear them. I had the long in front short in back. That was emo. But emo goops it up, and spikes it back in the back and straight down in the front. I just let it do what it wants, leaving it curling in weird directions. So that wasn't as bad. But now I got a salon color job because I botched the last one by trying to go brown on top of red hair. {hairdresserrant} So the hairdresser seemed to make a mistake. I showed her a picture of brown hair with orange in it. And four photos of the cut. One was Matoko from Ghost in the Shell (the one I specifically indicated as the haircut I liked). One was Misaki from Angelic Layer. One was Nyamo from Azumanga Daioh. And one was mildly trendy-looking. It was the only picture of a non-animated human being I could find with the hair longer in front of the ears, and pseudo bangs. Aparently she took that one, instead of the three others that I indicated as being more my style, and ran with it. She said "You realize that your hair is going to be really red..." I looked at the picture. It was a warm brown. But my hair had been really red before, and I liked that a lot, so I was like, "Sure. That's great." And she did. And it wasn't red at all. It was plum. THE emo girl hair color. At least it has orange hunks. I like my orange hunks. And I've been ignoring my colorsave shampoo so it looks less purple now. I never wanted purple hair. It makes me sad. Next time I go back, I'm considering bringing a box of my old Garnier red.{/hairdresserrant} So now I'm on this website looking for this girl's character picture. And I see my haircut. I mean, the hair is all combed in front of the eyes, which I don't do. But it's my haircut. And my color. I mean, I sorta have the ear things that I specifically wanted, but she cut them the length they were in pictures that had bangs, but didn't give me bangs. So they don't show up. So now, rather than looking like Matoko, I look like a purple Sasuke ^_^;; A purple emo Sasuke... Eew... I like Lee better. And Chouji. So the hair is a pain, but I can deal. I mean, I feel really stupid for letting this even blip on my radar. Last night I had a conversation with Graham.

{dreadlocks} He had dreaded his hair a couple nights ago. Previous to the dreadding, he had said that he'd miss brushing his hair. I had said then that I'd miss his hair too, but totally supported his hair choices. So, yesterday, he said that it'd take a while to get used to it, but he knew he'd be eventually able to appreciate the utilitarian style of the hairdo, and that it was now in its natural state anyway. I joked about the "natural state" having been achieved through a six hour process of hairstyling, but then finished that by saying, no, just kidding, if it makes you happy then I'm all for it. And he didn't believe me. He thought I had something against dreads. Which I don't. Seriously, I'd dread my hair if it weren't for 1) What my parents think (because I don't want them to be ashamed of their daughter. I love my folks.) 2) The fact that I want to eventually be a lawyer, and dreadlocks aren't exactly appropriate in that line of work, unless you're a hippie Save-the-Whales lawyer. 3) The fact that my physical appearance is not high on my list of important things. If I had to take even a tiny cut in my career security for my physical appearance... I wouldn't. 4) If you have two options that are equal in terms of morals and appeal, and one is easy and the other is difficult, you go with the easy one. {sexualorientation} This particular reason is also my rationale for being straight. I never until very recently was able to identify someone as attractive on more than an objective "he meets society's expectations for hottness" rationale. This was neither for men or for women. I could be attracted to people on a physical level that I was already attracted to because of some respect for their intelligence or character, but I had never even felt basic physical attraction for anyone I wasn't already involved with. There was nothing that grossed me out about the idea of sex with women. But hey, it's harder to be with women. In general, they're more emotionally demanding (Sorry gals, but I have yet to find a woman who has not expressed 'How could that not bother you?!' towards at least a few of the things I choose to shrug off due to some unemotional/logical reasoning), they don't come with all the right parts included (I'm not big on sex without love, but that's something that could eventually come into the picture after a while...), and it gives you the additional problem of dealing with society (which, to be honest, would be the least of my worries). Since I feel equal base physical attraction to both men and women (nil), I have decided to use my stupid unemotional/purely logical reasoning again and be straight. Because it's far easier. {/sexualorientation}. So basically I spent a while talking about how I don't care about my hair as part of my physical appearance. But aparently I do if it implies that I'm emo. Damn. I hate it when my brain does stupid shit like that. I wish I could just take a logic injection through my ear. ^_^ {/dreadlocks}.

So it's not just the hair anymore. It's my clothes too. I used to be all concerned with what my clothes said about me. I'd make my own t-shirts, and pay a lot more for clothes so that I could have shirts that expressed how I think, and big giant pants that showed how I didn't care so much that I could wear men's clothes. That cost like $40. I was stupid. So I stopped caring. I wore my t-shirts and my jeans. I'd be concerned on the level of just, "Make sure they fit you so you don't have that stupid angry chub that hangs over the top of your pants and makes you look fatter than you are." So I always bought jeans the right size or larger. Usually larger. And I'd wear guy pants, but they were cheap ghetto jeans that were just comfortable and roomy and good for sword practice. But now, when I wear my girl jeans, they're too long, since they're supposed to fit with angry chub and I buy them bigger, so I roll them up. So I have rolled up jeans. And t-shirts. And the Chuck Taylors I've been wearing since forever. Goddamnit, I'm dressing emo too.{/emorant}

I shouldn't care. I've gotten to a point where I don't have to care about how I look, and now I'm starting to care how I look again, because it's making me look like something. I wish that not caring how you look could make you just look comfortable. Maybe even plain. I wish it didn't fit you with a specific social group. But even THINKING that thought means that I'm caring about how I look. But I'm not letting it bother me, does that still count? But does wondering if it counts mean I'm just caring about what people think. Thinking about this is just going to get me in a loop of angsty questions. We're human beings. It's natural to care about what other people think of us. Our brains do this wonderful thing where we rationalize our thoughts to make ourselves feel better. It's all cognitive dissonance. I want to think that I'm strong and self-reliant and tolerant and logical and deep. I want to think that I don't get caught up in such silly stupid things such as what other people think. But we're social animals. It's what we do. It's how we're programmed. I think it's time we all admit that we DO care. We DO care what subculture our clothes and our hairstyles put us in. We care enough to pay $30 for anime t-shirts or ordering online for the "real" Red High-Top chucks when we could pay less for the designer ones in Hot Topic. We care enough to cut our hair or dread our hair or grow our hair out. We care enough to pierce and tattoo our bodies, or to forgo that tattoo or piercing that we really want. We decorate ourselves for self-expression, but that expression isn't "this is how I am". It's "this is how I want you to think of me." And I don't think that's really that bad. Do I wear this chalice pendant because it makes me feel connected to my religion? Because I want people to ask what it means and give me the opportunity to explain it to them? Because I think it shows how religious though tolerant I am without having to show it through my actions? Thanks to my friend cognitive dissonance, I don't think I'll ever know. And the sooner we all stop worrying about it, the better. {/storyofstupidshit}.

Wow... That was a horribly long, rambling rant. I had more things I wanted to talk about. But now I have to pee. So I'm going to just let this go, and perhaps come back and fix it in a bit. At least, I'll space it out a bit so it isn't just one giant paragraph of Liz Angst. *shudder*

OK. OK. I'm back. Now I'm going back in to add spaces and finish my storyofstupidshit and maybe add a little more. ... ... ... Done!

This was fun. It took up a good two hours of my time, and I may have even gotten some thinking out of the way. I'll have to do this more often. I'll be back with another silly entry some time in the next few days.

So until then, {/table}{/body}{/html}

Joy!

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 13:38:29 GMT

I am no longer alone! Ok, so I'm still pretty alone most of the time, but the RA's have arrived! So that means that Pri is here! And Laura! Yayy! I hung out with Pri last night for a while, but because it was so hot out, we both got sleepy around 8:00 so I went back to my room to work on my stuff and watch Naruto. I am very dismayed that frames are not behaving in the way I'd like them to. I've been trying to make a frames layout for Ninja Pirate Inc, but I don't think there's any way to do so while keeping the buttons the size they are now. I think I'm going to try and text-ify the buttons. See how that looks. It might actually not end up being too bad, and we could keep the frames (which makes navigation easier). But then again, this probably isn't too good of a Livejournal topic because it will bore the hell out of people.

I've been doing way too much artistic stuff lately. I think I need to feel like I'm being productive to make up for how unproductive I'm being at work. I mean, besides the fact that I'm actually writing this journal entry at work, whenever we're all told to do something, everybody gets started doing it, I say "OK!" Then I get three steps into the process, get confused, ask for help. Get a couple more steps along, ask for help. Over and over. It took me like 4 hours to get one computer set up and configured to dual boot, because I kept having to ask for help. The second one only took like 20 minutes, but still. I feel bad about being so not-helpful. But today we're having a speaker come in in the afternoon. That should give me useful information, and save me from demonstrating too much how embarassingly little I know about Linux.

Maybe I'll write more later. Now I have some SOLITAIRE to tackle...

YARRR!

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 12:57:17 GMT

Gosh, sorry for that subject line outburst. I'm just feeling particularly piratey today. And even a little ninja-like. Well, sorta. I'm not a very good ninja. Good ninjas are supposed to be all sneaky and shit, and it's hard to be sneaky when you're in the process of accidentally knocking into things on a regular basis. So that's why I'm a pirate. That way, if you accidentally knock something over, you can just yell, "YARRRR!!!! WHOEVER PUT THAT THERE BE PAYIN' IN BLOOD!!!" and they're too intimidated to laugh at you. Well... of course, that's how it works in theory.

So why am I feeling all piratey you ask? NINJA PIRATE INCORPERATED!!!! THAT'S WHY!!! It's not done yet, but I've been helping Tony out with some of the coding. And it is awesome. Well, the site is. Or it will be. My coding is mediocre at best. Once we get the thing up and running, and we can sit down and talk about it in person (rather than AIM), I'm sure we can get it looking much better.

AAH! Must run to work. Will finish this update on my lunchbreak.

OK, lunch time. Chinese food... Yum...

So anyway, yeah. Since I've had something to work on that makes me feel halfway productive, I've been getting a lot of art projects done. I did a little piece of fan art without my scanner (so it turned out kinda icky) and that was fun, and now I'm doing pixel dolls and stuff. It's very exciting ^_^

Today, they lost the Redhat disks, so they sent me to the store to buy some CD-R's. That meant I got to spend my morning at the mall and get paid for it! OK, so it wasn't that exciting. When I got there, Best Buy was closed, so I wandered around, bought a coffee, got some junk in the dollar store. I had to go to financial aid to get some paperwork signed so that I get paid for all this stuff. I still need to fax over my social security card to get them to sign it. This is kind of stupid. They're open 9-5 on weekdays. I work 9-5 on weekdays. Oh joy. Ah well. At least I get a nice long lunch break, and they're close enough to the chinese place so that I can get halfway-decent chinese food for lunch.

James came to visit the other day. It was really nice to have company around here. It gets kinda lonely. After I let him sit around waiting for forever before I realized that he was knocking on the door, we moved furnature in his room and read up on our webcomics and tried to download Naruto. Didn't happen. So we walked for Indian food. Wasn't open. DP Dough! Wasn't open. So we walked back to Main and got Vietnamese food with funny coconut drinks. I should just go there for the milkshakes, seriously. I've been dying to try greenbean ^_^ Then we went to a ~10:00 showing of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I won't ruin it for you if you haven't seen it, but IT WAS AWESOME. Quite possibly one of the most wacky, creepy-ass movies I've ever seen. I want a squirrel. And an Oompa Loompa. And some Diet Coke. I should probably go to the store and buy some...

My hat

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 19:31:59 GMT

Wow. It seems like a magical hat of +4 Charisma has fallen into my possession. So my Dad got back from Australia. He brought my sister t-shirts because she likes clothes. He brought my mother licorice because she likes licorice (and I stole some too ^_^). He brought me this totally awesome black buffalo-skin hat. See, I thought it was just a normal hat. Well, a COOL hat. So today work was canceled due to movers being stupid. They were supposed to have moved everything by 7 this morning, but they still weren't done by 1:00 PM. So we decided to stop waiting for them. I was going to Store 24 to get gummy worms, and it was sunny, so I put my new hat on. Walking by the construction site, everybody starts talking to me... I mean, even people I didn't make eye contact at while walking. They actually stopped me to ask me how my day was. They didn't even notice me there earlier this week, or this morning for that matter. Further along the way (And mind you, this is just walking from Maywood to Store 24), a car-full of Rastafarians pass by and say "Hey, Sexy!" On the way back, more construction workers.

I hold in my hands a thing of great power.

Wow...

Stupidity. My own, of course.

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 02:22:12 GMT

Yeah, I'm a moron. OK, so I spent a nice weekend at home with Pat and Kitty. Realized that I forgot my bathing suit at school and my family wanted to go up to the lake on Sunday. So Pat and Kitty and I spend a day hanging out around Worcester and picking up my bathing suit. Go to camp. It's nice and relaxing and I get to see my mother's aunt Helen. So it's like 7:30 and I'm heading home, and I'm packing my car with nice stuff to bring to school that'll be all nice and useful. Stuff like clothes. And Miyazaki films. And popcorn. You know, the necessities. Well, after being stuck in traffic for like 2 and a half hours, I'm getting kinda careless. I lock the car, I'm standing outside, putting things in my clothes bag, getting ready to leave. I grab some stuff in the back seat and I'm fixing my skirt, getting myself all decent when WHAM. Car door closes. With my clothes inside. And my cell phone. And my car keys. So now I'm waiting for my poor wonderful mother to sit through all that stupid traffic and open my car for me. I feel like such a horrible person. With a great mom.

Yayy! Problem solved!

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 02:17:36 GMT

My mom said it was ok if my mouse stayed for a little while. So I decided I'd give him a name. He's Rasputin now, the little die-hard ^_^ We will throw wild parties late into the night. With Final Fantasy XI. And rice cakes.

The Goddamn Mouse

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 13:24:52 GMT

OK, so I'm living in the dorms now. I think there are a total of three people living on campus right now. And I'm one of them. I've got an entire suite to myself. It's kind of neat. I have myself set up in my little orange corner of the room at the end of the hall. There's this giant unoccupied space, and then this little tiny area in the corner teeming with color and life. I mean, I've even got a post-it note Goomba on my wall ^_^ I've become more artistic lately. I'm going to decorate everybody's door by the time they get here. It's my mission. I mean, I go to work every day at 9, take an hour and a half lunch break, and then get back at 5 and I'm in my room by myself until I go to sleep at like 2. And I can't really entertain myself by going online anymore. I mean, I'm writing this journal entry at work... At work. I sometimes do almost an hour of actual work. This is sure different from my last job. So then when I go back to my room, I have to find alternative ways of amusing myself, and Final Fantasy XI is only amusing for so long. So, like the guy in Castaway who made friends with the Volleyball, I have a friend myself. He is a mouse. He likes to run into my closet and try to eat my food and my computer wires. I think he's kinda cute. I told my mom about the mouse. She told me to go to the store and get traps. I mean, I know that'd be the logical thing to do. So, I have decided to write a letter to my mouse.

Dear Mouse,
Hello. I'm sure you remember me. I'm the one in the computer chair who keeps trying to throw a big scary pink plastic thing over your head. Nice to finally talk. I know I've never really done much for you, but I'd like to ask you a favor. Can you please let me catch you with my pink garbage can? I mean, stand there for long enough for me to toss it over you. Then I'll scoop some paper underneath and put you outside where you'll be safe. I mean, I know you'd probably rather be in my room where it's cool and there's free food. I know I would. The thing is, when other people show up, they won't be so desperate for the company. And they probably don't like disease-carrying rodents. No offense. So, they want me to set these trap thingys out that'll snap shut and chop off your head. Now, I've really got no qualms against doing that. Except you're my friend and you keep me from being lonely. So I'm giving you fair warning. You know I have to do it. I already bought them, because otherwise my mother would yell at me, and once people start showing up seeing a mouse and the traps still sitting there on my desk, they're going to start asking questions. So I've decided that I'm going to throw some excuse about not wanting to have mouse guts lying around when I'm not there this weekend. So I'm giving you an opportunity to either let me catch you in my pink wastepaper basket, or hop town. Because I really don't want to snap your head off. I sincerely hope this whole messy thing works out.
Your Pal,
Human

I think I'll leave it on the laundry basket where I keep my food. 'Cause damnit, I don't want that little fucker getting into my teriaki rice...

I can't believe I'm using a Live Journal...

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:06:25 GMT

I never thought I'd be somebody to give updates on my personal life in a place where the entire friggin internet could see. Then again, who really cares about my life anyway? It's probably just going to be the people who already have me added to their livejournals who will look at me when they update theirs and say, oh look. Liz updated. She's a moron. Nah. They won't say I'm a moron. I'll say I'm a moron, because I feel like a total doofus posting this. Is that how you spell doofus? That's going to bother me now. Perhaps I'm just doing this because I'm lonely being in the dorms all by myself. Or maybe it's because every time I read Tony's livejournal I want to update mine because his is awesome. But then I always think that mine will never be that awesome, which it won't, but I'll have fun anyway.

I shouldn't sit around moping about stupid shit here, because then I'm going to look back and say, "Hey! I was moping about stupid shit!" Because I don't mope about stupid shit. I mean, as much as I'd like to sit around brooding, and how entertaining that is, that's not something I do. Life is much easier if you concentrate on fixing other people's problems. Your own just get fixed in the process. If you resist the temptation to start talking about them, you learn to deal with things on your own, so you don't have to talk about them anymore. And then eventually you don't have to think about them anymore. And then everything's ok. I mean, I guess that sounds like pretend OK, but I don't think it is. That's what I didn't get about Kare Kano. I mean, sure you're pretending to be great, and kind, and awesome to everybody. But, you're still being great and kind and awesome to everybody in the process. Is that really so different? It's not like you secretly hate them. It's just going against your natural tendency to lock yourself in your room, loaf around, and be lazy. Isn't that what people are supposed to do? I never want to be that person who just shares all their problems with their friends or their live journals, because I guess I always chalked that up as weakness. Relying on someone else to deal with something that you can't deal with on your own. I know that's stupid. I know that it's psychologically the wrong way to think about things. But I still think about them that way. Perhaps it's just this stupid obsession with being strong and self-reliant and somehow combining the two things in definition and skewing their meaning in the first place.

So I guess by going into that tirade I've effectively sat there moping about stupid shit. Nice one, Liz ^_^ So I'll end that here. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll have something interesting to say.

Another silly little quiz...

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 21:43:59 GMT

A survey I took.

Mon, 31 May 2004 23:57:53 GMT

These are amusing. I found this one in the livejournal of a person who was much more interesting than me, if only because of her abundant hypocrisies, cliches, and general incidents of stupidity. I took the survey anyway because it looked amusing.

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The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?:	No. I decided to wait until college for that ^_^
Do you party a lot? How often?:	No. I hate gatherings of more than 10 people with the express purpose of socializing. I hide in corners.
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?:	No. I'm not big on the mind-altering substance thing.
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:	Maybe a few times. I use comparisons a lot, and I have occasionally used "like" in a teenagery way. I try to avoid verbal ticks at all costs.
Do you skip classes? How often?:	Almost never. Occasionally, however, I'll get a pass from my AP English teacher to miss Jazz Band.
Do you have casual sex? Protected?:	Never. Any sex I will ever participate in before I decide I want to have children will be protected.
Do you steal?:	No. Just no.
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:	What is inappropriate? Everything is inappropriate in some situation. Skanky? Very very rarely. With offensive political slogans? Occasionally.
Do you drool over celebrities?:	Not their physical appearance. But I do worship Anthony Hopkins because he just rocks ^_^
Do you watch a lot of TV?:	No. I only ever watch The Practice and Who's Line, and they both got canceled. Lucky me.
Do you ever watch the News?:	If it's on, I watch it. That's usually only in the gym because my sister constantly has MTV on.
Do you even care about world issues?:	Very deeply, especially those concerning our country and a certain elected ape.
Do you read books often?:	Quite. I'd like to read more, but other things always seem to take priority.
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:	None. Ever. I got a C+ once.
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:	I'd say about 50% of my waking non-class time is spent with friends.
Do you smoke cigarettes?:	No. They're pointless.
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:	I used to, if only for the Dance Dance Revolution.
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?:	Never.
Do you cuss a lot?:	More than I used to. But I have to actively decide to use anything more serious than "damn" or "hell"
Are you desperate to fit in?:	No. And I'm not desperate to do exactly the oposite of "in". I do what I like.
Are you intelligent?:	I consider myself to be rather intelligent for my age.
The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?:	Not unless it's Halloween.
Black eyeliner?:	Sparingly, when I feel like wearing makeup.
Black eyeshadow?:	Sometimes, and then it's blended to a light grey.
Black trenchcoat?:	Nope. Gray.
Black boots?:	Sometimes. Suede lace-up, fake combat boots, or square-toed heeled ankle boots.
Black fishnets?:	Nope.
Black nail polish?:	No more often than any other color of nail polish.
Cigarettes?:	No. They're pointless.
Heavy metal music?:	No. I'm not a big fan of screaming to distorted chords.
Marilyn Manson?:	No, but I don't actively dislike him. A bit of his stuff isn't bad.
Kittie?:	Never listened.
Cradle of Filth?:	Never listened.
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:	Nah. I'd like to say I'm pretty upbeat most of the time.
Do you like to be seen as:	An individual.
Are you an intellectual?:	I think most see me that way. People who only know me when I'm having fun (like the sword troupe) seem to get a different impression.
An atheist?:	Nope. Agnostic. Don't know. Never can know. Why worry?
Horrible home life?:	Nope. Wonderful home life.
Hopelessly depressed?:	Nope. I'm hopelessly everything but depressed ^_^
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:	Nope.
Self-mutilation?:	I'm such a clutz, getting up in the morning could be considered self-mutilation.
The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?:	Nah. Plaid is always on the bottom, and anything that draws attention to my legs is a nono.
Big black boots?:	See previous response to black boots.
Mohawk?:	Nope. I have done a fauxhawk once or twice, though. Just by proportions.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:	Nope. Three total between my two ears.
Loud, confident and opinionated?:	I'm fairly confident. I have opinions. I can be loud when I want to. I don't try to push my opinions on others.
Wild hair colors?:	My hair color is the type that is a little too red to be real on anyone, but falls short of "wild"
NOFX?:	disinterested shrug
Rancid?:	disinterested shrug
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:	Only the important ones ^_^
A:	Quoi?
The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?:	Somewhere around 140. Varies with the test I take.
Do you watch a lot of sports?:	None at all, really.
Play a lot of sports?:	Nope. In gym class I skip the sport lessons to work out.
Talk a lot about sports?:	Nope.
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:	Oh, quite a lot, really.
Are you arrogant?:	I don't believe so, and I try hard not to be, but as a whole, people can't see their own faults.
Are you a male or female whore?:	No. I can honestly say no.
Are you homophobic?:	Far from it.
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?:	No. That would be stupid.
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?:	Well, far from quivering. I quiver for reasons other than insecurity
Boobs = yes?:	Yes. I have them. Whoo hoo!
Parties = yes?:	Parties = No.
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?:	No.
The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?:	More than a minimalist, but less than average, I guess. I shower, dress, and blowdry every morning.
Have you ever been on a diet?:	Yes I have. Now I like to call it a lifestyle change.
How much did you lose?:	20-40 pounds on different diets. Gained most of it back. Now I'm working out more and losing more inches than pounds.
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?:	No, it was a diet.
Make yourself throw up?:	That would be stupid. It doesn't really work anyway. If you want an eating disorder, go for anorexia.
Make-up?:	Occasionally. When I'm trying to be professional or on special occasions.
Low-cut tops?:	Some times. I show my shoulders more often than I do my breasts.
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]:	Somewhere between B and C.
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?:	Well, if I didn't realize it, I wouldn't be able to answer this question ^_^ When I get nervous or impatient, I push it behind my ears.
Giggle a lot?:	Not as much as I laugh in other ways.
What's the deal with boys?:	I like them. They make good friends. They make good lovers. Well, some of them.
Thongs?:	No, thanks. I'm not much for letting my ass jiggle everywhere I go.
Pretty bras?:	I like pretty bras, especially black and lacey ones.
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?:	I occasionally glance through those kind of magazines when I'm waiting to pick my sister up in the library.
Who's the weaker sex?:	Physically, women. Otherwise, they pretty much even out.
Are you a feminist?:	In a way, yes. I'm all for equality, and I mean completely. No standing on a pedestal with your honeykins and then expecting to be treated as an equal in the workplace.
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?:	Strangely, I've never found anyone "hot", as you put it, who didn't have long curly hair, among other features.
How often do you shave your legs?:	Whenever I suspect someone will see them, other than my girlfriends. That ends up being once every 3-8 days.
How about your armpits?:	Every day. I don't want to risk smelling bad.
Are you emotional?:	In some ways very, in others not at all. I cry about things that don't bother me in the least.
Especially when on your period?:	The irrational crying occurs then. Basically my hormones are easily upset, but my mind is not.
This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?:	Originality, but be yourself. Don't do things that don't feel right to you to either fit in or stand out.
Independence or Companionship?:	One can be an independent person while still having companionship in many ways. Both are necessary.
Stability or Freedom?:	These have nothing to do with eachother. I like change over stability and freedom over confinement.
Personal or Interpersonal?:	Both are good, but one needs to understand oneself before one can understand others.
Introvert or Extrovert?:	I'm an extroverted introvert. When given a choice, I will seclude myself from others (I need to make an effort to socialize), but I love being on stage, giving speeches, etc.
Popularity or Isolation?:	If I had to make a choice between trivial popularity and complete isolation, I'd choose popularity. But if I get to have two or three friends, I'd choose isolation any day.
Unique or Loved?:	These have nothing to do to eachother, but I'd rather be unique than just another face, and in most cases, I'd rather be respected than loved.
Understood or Individual?:	Again, these have nothing to do with eachother, but I'd rather be an individual no one understands, than a cliche that everyone gets.
You or Them?:	You. Not me, you. Each individual person I know is what matters more than the collective others, or myself.

How Stereotypical You Are... brought to you by BZOINK!

Yayyy I took a Dante's Inferno Test ^_^

Fri, 14 May 2004 02:43:22 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Fun fun thingy!

Wed, 25 Jun 2003 01:27:23 GMT

madmalkavian
Magic Number	12
Job	Conservationist
Personality	Paranoid And With Good Reason
Temperament	Cool And Calm
Sexual	If I Have To
Likely To Win	The Booker Prize
Me - In A Word	Belligerent
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Finally....

Wed, 25 Jun 2003 00:50:14 GMT

Yeah, I've had this journal for a while, and just now I'm deciding to update it. Today sucked. I was under self-inflicted house arrest, cleaning my room. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I was stupid. But I'm ok. Last night I got a phone call from someone I REALLY NEEDED to talk to, and it felt really good. Then I talked to him today and felt even better. There's something I'm going to have to say, and I'm dreading saying it, but I know I have to or it's going to cause even more problems. Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit.